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- June 24, 2025
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Trauma Systems Therapy: 10 Signs of Trauma Bonding
Trauma Systems Therapy (TST) is more than just a clinical model—it’s a lifeline for individuals navigating the aftershocks of deep emotional wounds. Developed to address both emotional dysregulation and the external environments that influence it, TST offers a structured path to healing. One of the most painful patterns it addresses is trauma bonding: a survival-based emotional connection between someone who has been abused and their abuser.
This blog explores trauma bonding through the lens of TST, outlines how trauma manifests in the body and dives into modern, holistic strategies to release trauma. We’ll also address key questions about trauma healing—such as whether therapy is accessible.
10 Signs of Trauma Bonding
- You defend someone who repeatedly hurts you.
If you find yourself justifying, excusing, or minimizing abusive behavior—especially to others—you may be stuck in a trauma bond. Rationalizing cruelty often stems from fear and emotional dependency, not logic. - You experience withdrawal when disconnected from them.
Emotional and physiological symptoms—like panic, sweating, or depression—can surface when you’re away from the abuser, even temporarily. - You fixate on “the good times.”
Trauma bonding keeps you focused on a few early positive experiences, creating emotional confusion. You may think, “They weren’t always like this,” and cling to that illusion despite ongoing harm. - You keep secrets to protect them.
Lying to your family or therapist? Withholding key facts? That’s a sign you’re protecting the abuser at your own expense. - You believe you’re the problem.
Victims in trauma bonds often internalize blame. If you’re convinced you’re “too sensitive,” “always overreacting,” or “causing drama,” step back. Abusers often twist reality. - You fear leaving more than staying.
Even if you fantasize about breaking free, something keeps you frozen in place. Fear of retaliation, abandonment, or loneliness outweighs the certainty of pain. - You have low self-worth.
The abuse erodes your self-esteem so slowly that you barely notice until you feel utterly unlovable or “lucky” someone tolerates you. - You feel addicted to the relationship.
Trauma bonds function like addictions. Neurochemicals like dopamine and cortisol keep you hooked on chaos, cycling through highs and lows. - You’ve lost your identity.
You stop recognizing yourself. Hobbies, friends, and values—all fade away until the abuser is the center of your emotional universe. - You make excuses for why you stay.
“If I leave, who will love me?” or “They didn’t mean it.” Trauma bonding thrives on doubt, guilt, and shame.
How to Release Trauma from the Body
Healing trauma isn’t just about insight—it’s about sensation. Trauma and the nervous system are deeply connected. When trauma hits, it leaves a living legacy in the body. You don’t just remember it—you relive it in your heartbeat, breath, and posture. That’s why Trauma Systems Therapy (TST) and other somatic approaches prioritize the body in the healing process.
Trauma and the Nervous System
Trauma activates your body’s stress response—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. If you don’t resolve the stress, your nervous system gets stuck on high alert. Over time, this leads to chronic pain, fatigue, anxiety, and sleep issues. Trauma and the nervous system become entangled in a loop of dysregulation.
To break this loop, healing must happen at the level of the body, not just the brain. This is where transforming the living legacy of trauma begins. By using body-based practices, you move from survival mode toward calm, presence, and safety.
Somatic Techniques to Help
Trauma transformed means releasing what’s stored, not suppressing it. These body-based methods help:
- Somatic Experiencing (SE): Created by Peter Levine, this method supports slow, safe release of stored tension. It’s a powerful tool for transforming trauma without re-traumatization.
- TRE (Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises): These movements activate natural shaking mechanisms in the body to discharge stress. It’s especially helpful when combined with Trauma Systems Therapy at home or in virtual sessions.
- Vagus Nerve Stimulation: Practices like deep breathing, cold exposure, and humming calm the body’s threat response. Over time, they help anchor safety in your body, supporting trauma and the nervous system in recalibrating.
Transforming the Living Legacy of Trauma
Many trauma survivors live out patterns created by their past without realizing it. Trauma isn’t just a memory—it’s a legacy that influences your choices, relationships, and health.
Transforming trauma begins with awareness and culminates in empowerment.
- Recognize repeating patterns: Are you choosing partners who echo past abusers?
- Use journaling: Reflect on how your trauma shows up in your adult life.
- Reparent your inner child: Provide yourself with self-compassion, structure, and emotional validation.
How Long Does It Take to Release Trauma from the Hips?
The hips are often referred to as the body’s emotional “junk drawer.” Stress, fear, and trauma often settle there, especially in people with PTSD. Trauma-informed yoga suggests that releasing tension from the hips can take anywhere from a few weeks to several months, depending on frequency and consistency of practice.
Key techniques include:
- Pigeon pose and butterfly stretch: To release emotional blocks.
- Somatic breathing: Holding these poses encourages emotional release.
- Practicing yoga for PTSD with a certified trauma yoga therapist.
Online Trauma Therapy
Access to trauma specialists has become easier with online platforms like BetterHelp, Talkspace, and somatic-focused coaches on Zoom. Online trauma therapy is ideal for:
- Survivors with social anxiety
- People in rural areas
- Those who prefer anonymity
Trauma Systems Therapy can be effectively delivered through virtual sessions, especially when combined with body-based interventions at home.
Trauma Specialist vs General Therapist
Not all therapists are trauma-informed. A trauma specialist understands how trauma affects the brain, body, and behavior. Look for:
- Certification in EMDR, SE, or Internal Family Systems (IFS)
- Experience with complex PTSD or childhood abuse
- Comfort discussing trauma bonding, dissociation, or nervous system regulation
Trauma Yoga and Yoga for PTSD
Trauma yoga differs from regular yoga:
- It avoids physical adjustments by instructors.
- It offers options, not commands (“If it feels right, you might try…”).
- It focuses on grounding, breathwork, and reconnecting with bodily sensations.
Research shows that trauma-sensitive yoga improves:
- Emotional regulation
- Sleep quality
- Body awareness
- Sense of safety
Many trauma books, such as The Body Keeps the Score, highlight yoga as an essential part of the healing process.
Nature Healing Therapy
Natural environments can soothe the nervous system and reduce cortisol levels. Nature healing therapy might include:
- Forest bathing (shinrin-yoku): A Japanese practice of slow, mindful walks in the woods
- Grounding or earthing: Walking barefoot on grass or soil to stabilize mood
- Adventure therapy: Hiking, kayaking, or climbing with a trauma-informed guide
Nature therapy is especially beneficial for individuals who feel overwhelmed or triggered by clinical environments.
Healing the Nervous System from Trauma
Healing the nervous system involves repetitive, intentional regulation techniques:
- Breathwork: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold, exhale for 8 seconds. Repeat.
- Cold exposure: Try immersing yourself in 30 seconds of cold water to activate the parasympathetic response.
- Visualization: Use guided imagery to revisit a safe space.
- Nutrition: Omega-3s, magnesium, and protein stabilize mood and rebuild neurotransmitters.
Consistency is key. A dysregulated nervous system won’t reset overnight, but small daily habits rewire your brain and body for safety.
Best Trauma Books to Read
Whether you’re just beginning your healing or deep in recovery, these trauma books offer practical and emotional guidance:
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
- Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine
- What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey
- Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker
It Didn’t Start with You by Mark Wolynn
FAQs
If therapy isn’t available, healing is still possible:
- Read trauma books and use workbooks for self-guided reflection.
- Join online peer support groups.
- Practice mindfulness, movement, and journaling daily to cultivate a healthy lifestyle.
- Create a trauma-informed daily routine (movement, sleep, hydration, sunlight, connection).
Focus on:
- Daily breathwork or meditation
- Physical touch: massage, self-hug, weighted blankets
- Eating nutrient-dense, anti-inflammatory food
- Getting 7–8 hours of sleep consistently
- Limiting exposure to digital and environmental stress
Start with:
- Inner child work (write letters to your younger self)
- Create new, safe routines
- Build “earned secure attachment” with friends or mentors
- Use affirmations such as “I am safe now,” “I am not to blame,” or “My needs matter.”
You’re not alone, and healing doesn’t require perfection—only intention and persistence are needed.
Conclusion: From Trauma to Transformation
Trauma Systems Therapy offers a roadmap through the chaos of unresolved trauma, especially in the realm of trauma bonding. But healing doesn’t start and stop in the mind. It’s in your hips, your breath, your relationships, and your daily choices. The journey from trauma to transformation isn’t linear, but it is possible—and it’s yours to claim.
By recognizing the signs, seeking safe connections, and using holistic tools, you give yourself the greatest gift: the power to live free from the legacy of your past.